Thailand 101

And now for something completely different: #21, The Rant.
I'll return to the usual travelouge style next week, but felt like doing something different this time around.

Went to the international soccer match between Denmark and Thailand a few days ago, was fun but it was also a great analogy to life in Thailand as a foreigner in general. You get sucker punched by smiling local authorities, the rules change on you whenever you turn your back and things are not always what they seem.

 Don't get me wrong, I love it here and I feel comfortable and happy here in Thailand, but I am quite removed from the REAL conflicts and differences of Thailand much of the time. I live secluded in my huge farang apartment in the huge luxurious farang apartment complex halfway out in the jungle... I don't have many local Thai friends and I don't experience the local Thailand on a day to day basis. Not that I don't want to, but it's damn hard to get in on it. I'm marked as an outsider and I sit much of the day in front of my PC here at home working... and the people I know down here are mostly expats with a few upper class Thais spread thin in the social circle. I don't have a Thai girlfriend like most farangs and that disqualifies me from that shortcut to unfiltered Thailand.

In my defense I have always been a very private and secluded person, I don't have a great need for constant socializing and I don't have a great need for having people around me. I get along in own company, then I can make my own rules and I win every time ;)
So it's nothing new that I'm not talking much to my neighbors or to the guy down in 7/11... but here in Thailand there is the marked difference that I am aware of the experiences I miss on that account, and I am trying to keep myself alive and moving by doing something about it as best I can. This is supposed to mark a change in life, so I'm conscious about at least being conscious about not mingling with the crowd around here. Point being that I know I'm a bit removed from the nitty gritty of things, but I still feel I have been here long enough to have a somewhat informed opinion.

Once in a while something happens that slams home with Louisville slugger force that, we ain't in Kansas anymore. This place is different down to levels that are hard to comprehend. People here are not darkskinned versions of myself with the same moral, ethics and way of thinking.. just with a colorful and funny cultural difference. This is NOT the West with a spicy flavor, Thailand is something very different and people think different on issues that to all us westerners are taken for granted. A few times you get these glimpses of how truly alien a place you are living and on how few points of reference you have anything in common with Thai.

This doesn't concern stuff like McDonalds or getting the latest telephone model or the biggest car... materialism is materialism and it's here just as in most other corners of the globe. Come to think of it I don't have the vocabulary or the cognitive capacity to put it into words, but the soccer match was a Louisville Slugger moment.

The stadium was packed to capacity and the happy smiling and joyful side of Thai culture was in full bloom. I have never ever seen a crowd as living and agitated even when their heroes were taking a simple throw in :)  It's also a cool feeling to feel safe even in your Danish colors, cheering madly in your little enclave among 15000 Thais, they won't kick your ass for wearing the wrong colors.. but they will cheat.

Last things first. After the match was over the British coach of the Thai national team went over and apologized to the Danish coach. Apologized for the travesty the game had turned into, with a referee so bought it screamed to the heavens. Welcome to Thailand, we don't give a crap about your way of life and we'll rig it until it comes up aces and you go home broken. Anyone who have been following the political situation will recognize the signs...

Was a pretty boring match actually, turf was in shambles and the level of playing was pretty damn poor for two international level teams. But it was made interesting by the local referee who in the end didn't even pretend to be objective, it was like watching a Disney movie where the bad guys are sooooooo bad and the good guys are cheated constantly. Heh or like an American Wrestling match where the referee always is looking the opposite direction when someone gets smashed over the head with a chair.. it was THAT far out.

The Thai team got the long awaited penalty even if there was nobody around the dude who happened to fall, when a Danish player was slaughtered in the penalty box he was given a yellow card for simulating etc etc etc.  Halfway through the second half most of the Danish contingency left in utter disgust, but we stayed and in overtime Denmark managed to draw the game with a goal that even the ref couldn't figure out how to call a foul on.  On to penalty kicks where Denmark won, but not before the ref decided a kick had to be taken once over.. reason being that the Thai guy missed the goal :D

 Long story short, it was a joke of a match but it did underline that all our inbred ideas about fair play and gentleman rules doesn't always count around these parts. Not saying everyone in the West is a gentleman, no way no how... but we do share a common understanding of the concept at least and we are embarresed if the social standards are too blatantly broken. Similarly I'm not saying all Thais are cheating bastards, not by a long shot... but corruption is an accepted part of life and taking a bribe is not a social stigmata. The rules are different and they are especially different if you are a foreigner.

The above is coined almost exclusively at the official side of Thailand, the big wigs and kingpins, not at the normal middle class Thai who is most likely a far better and more balanced person than you and I. When you believe in karma and you are serious about it, then doing "the right thing" gets a lot more attractive... so the smiles in the land of smiles are mostly for real. If you had to put the average Thai into a box it would be the one marked "good, honest and kind". Deal is that these people don't make the rules or call the shots and at the upper levels anything and anyone can be bought, bartered, sold or stolen.

It also points almost exclusively at the situation in Bangkok, Pattaya and to some degree Phuket. This is the Wild West all over again, the place is swimming in development money and it's a mad dash scramble for everyone to be at the top of the pile. It is to a certain degree a lawless place and like it or not that does have a certain ruffian charm... especially when you got enough Bath to make the rules bend your own way ;)

Many farangs that come here think that they are the upper crust of Thailand and that the locals respect them and their success, riches or nice and positive personalities, and the fact that they CAN bend the rules their way in a way not often seen in Europe reinforces this perception of "How Things Work".

 Truth is that you are mostly considered lower than a Thai.. ANY Thai, but they are willing to put up with you as long as you pay and pay well. And yep thats the mother of all generalizations, but I don't know of any way to getting stuff like this written down without generalizing like hell. It should be obvious that I very much like Thailand, Thai people and Thai culture... but that does not change the fact that many farangs are shocked when the blindfold is removed and they realize they are to be considered easy pickings for a society and a culture that has existed unconquered for millennia.

An every day example of this could the farang owner of the biggest local bar here in kamala who is forced to pay through his nose to the local police chief in order to stay in business. They don't even go through the trouble of making up imaginary infractions to fine him anymore, they just show up and demand the cash. His only chance to avoid this, is to start paying someone even higher up the system to get the local police chief of his back. This is not something unique, every single farang owned bar has to pay protection money.. they are just particularly out to get this one. Either he cracks and goes back to Europe, he cracks and does something to get thrown in jail, he finds a protector higher in the system or he keeps paying extreme fines for being stupid enough to be a non-thai trying to run a bar.

This country is OLD and it has never been under western rule, as the only country in South East Asia actually, and you are not automatically the standard to aspire to just because you come from Coca-Cola land. They don't want to be smiling versions of Westerners, they are their own.  Sounds obvious, but it is not since we are brought up with seeing people from outside the West, flocking at our gates wanting our way of life, wanting to be us in a sense.

Around here we are on tolerated stay only, strip a farang of his cash and you have an outcast. Pay up and this is paradise (and I mean it, it's heavenly here) but if you accidentally get in a car smash and a Thai local is injured you'll see how deep the resentment of non-Thais can be. You better run if that happens.

Heh and all this from a rigged soccer match. Hope the message is clear that I like it here and that you CAN get integrated if you really make an effort. But it won't happen on it's own and you are not considered saviors or cultural giants around these parts. If you live like most farangs, myself included, then enjoy heaven on earth but be aware that if you get in trouble with the locals or the law, then being a foreigner is not going to save you.. more likely it is likely to damn you. Life, and soccermatches, are played by Thai rules and you best just accept that and learn to deal with it.

Ohh finally in the last line I figured out what I have been trying to say all along.
"Being a (white male) foreigner in Thailand is not a get out of jail free card... more likely it is going to count against you."

That ended up as long as usual and there don't seem to be a point to this blog, not one that I can spot at least. The only excuse I can offer is that some times a set of thoughts are not fully born until they have been verbalized... and apparently I had to think this through a bit. Velly solly ;)